March 27 - April 2, 2017
zodiaczodiaczodiaczodiaczodiaczodiaczodiaczodiaczodiaczodiaczodiaczodiac
Aries
You have a new motto for life: don‘t let people get to you, they‘re just people and everyone is struggling with something, and it‘s not like you can be liked by everyone so it‘s better to be who you are, and not worry about what anyone is thinking. The only time you really need to care is if you‘re on the wrong side of things at work and even to that point you shouldn‘t get too attached to it, since your unique set of skills will allow you to work almost anywhere. You need to believe in yourself, and trust in yourself, you contribute a lot, and if anyone can‘t see how hard you work, they must be blind. You‘re one of those people who has this iron clad work ethic you will show up on time, you will brainstorm, you will clean toilets if necessary. You might draw the line at litter boxes or windows, but you will do everything in your power to help the team of people you‘re working with, and that‘s an admirable trait. You are learning not to care if people try to step on you, if they talk about you behind your back, if they‘re secretly sending the same messages to someone from Ohio and you at the same time and if you have a love life to speak of, or friends who truly appreciate you. What you have is your integrity, your ability to make friends with almost everyone you encounter and an intellect that won‘t let you give up, no matter how many times someone tries to knock you down. You‘re one of the most tenacious people out there and people had better start realizing that because going toe to toe, the person who can stand the longest is the one who wins and let‘s face it, you‘ve never lost a contest when the only requirement was to show up and be there. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and you‘re learning a lot about perseverance and fighting the right fight. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and you know what you‘re most passionate about and you‘ll let that shine through. The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and there‘s some slowing down happening here, but also some good communication happening. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and you need a moment because what the what just happened?Ascendant: Okay so you thought you had a handle on things . . .
Taurus
You know it‘s time to get on with it, but you don‘t want to let go of the past quite yet. Things have starting moving in a positive direction but there you are, reluctantly putting on your coat, your mittens, your toque, your scarf, you know it‘s probably not even that cold outside anymore, but you have this way of not letting it go that annoys everyone around you. Sure, take ten thousand minutes to tie up your boots, the whole week will pass you by in the time it‘s taking you to feel like you‘re presentable, and protected well enough against the elements. You know it‘s time to make a new start and to let go of the things you can‘t change anymore. That obstacle you couldn‘t get past? It‘s done, move on, nobody cares anymore, something else has already taken over their Twitter feeds and that‘s all that matters. What‘s nice is that if you had to stick with the job, everyone has moved on, they‘re not interested in rehashing things, and if you‘ve had to adapt to changes, then do it, there‘s no point in being the stick in the mud who can‘t accept that sometimes things don‘t go your way in life, that‘s no way to be a team player. So, sure you might be taking it slow this week, you might find yourself feeling a little jaded, and like you don‘t know how you‘re going to get on with life without gritting your teeth over the past, but you‘ll do it. And you know what? If life gives you the same lemons twice, and you didn‘t make lemonade the first time, this time it‘s so boring and overdone that you don‘t even care anymore, and you‘ll just make the damned lemonade and move on. I mean it‘s that simple, you have so many other things you need to be concerned about, so many options, and debates ahead of you that dwelling on something, and thinking winter is going to last forever, is kind of a silly idea. You know seasons change, people change, things change, it‘s all part of the process of life. Be flexible about it. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and while you‘re taking a while to get out there, you‘re going to do it, immaturity aside. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and you‘re still passionate about the same things but you need to let it go. The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and here, here‘s all the new debates, all the new problems all the new things you need to worry about. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and you‘ll feel like it‘s a great time to have stay home.Ascendant: Let it go already!
Gemini
The last thing you needed this week was someone trying to challenge you and saying you couldn‘t do something. Why do people do this to you? It‘s like they don‘t realize that you already have a healthy drive to do crazy things, but they‘ll poke the bear and get it all riled up and ready to climb a tree, or dive off a cliff or make the highest sales goal the company has ever seen. You didn‘t need the freaking challenge in the first place, you‘re already so pumped and ready to take over the world that you don‘t need more motivation for it. Your self-motivation is through the roof! So of course, you‘re going to be feeling the pressure, even more than usual because you‘re being taunted, tempted, teased and you feel that when you‘re presented with a challenge you have to go for it full throttle no matter what it is. Let‘s hope it‘s not romantic because the last thing you need to do is have a superficial relationship based on a bet that someone would never go for you. I hope these challenges have to do with social media statuses being shared around the globe or work goals being hit, or some super difficult person being softened up and convinced to side with your boss. I hope these challenges aren‘t the dangerous kind because you don‘t need more of that danger in your life. Maybe this challenge would be to see if you can keep your negative opinions to yourself for a whole week, that would be an amazing thing to see, no smart remarks or punny jokes or passive aggressive insults? Oooh, things I‘d love to see you achieve, not turning everything into a dirty joke, there‘s a good challenge for you! I jest, I jest, but really, if you make one more pun someone is going to punch you. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and here come the challenges! I hope they‘re smart, I hope they‘re smart. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday, and you‘re taking this to heart, you‘re really going to try to change. The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and you are holding back so bad, but you‘re going to be successful, you will meet this challenge no matter what. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and then you‘ll go skinny dipping in your neighbor‘s hot tub, you know, to balance things out.Ascendant: I‘ll be over here, shaking my head.
Cancer
If there‘s one certainty about you it‘s that everyone knows how witty, weird and wonderful you are. You‘ll never stop being those things, even when people are asking you to defy the laws of gravity for their own advancement in technology, or when someone wants you to crack the codes to something so they can better themselves. You never do anything for personal gain but you always find yourself in a position where others are asking you to assist them so that they can make some serious gain life and the thing about you is that when you smell a rat you set a trap. You have integrity and you‘re not going to allow someone to pull a fast one on you, use you for their own social, or financial profit, not unless some of that profit is being gained fair and square and if what‘s rightfully yours is also coming your way. You‘re not going to allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Of course, you‘ll also notice things moving in slow motion, it seems like you‘ve got a lot of time to think about the direction things are moving and if you don‘t like the direction you have a lot of time to move things away from potential catastrophe. You might want to consider that the saving grace here, is that you don‘t have to be quick on your toes to see what‘s happening underfoot, you just have to open your eyes and look for the right things, sometimes, especially when it comes to Star Wars, the republic you serve can turn out to be the enemy you fear. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and while you‘re willing to experience new things, you‘re not willing to let those things change who you are. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and you‘ll see things are slowing down enough so you can see all the potential opportunities and pitfalls ahead of you. The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and you‘ve got some serious decisions to make. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and you have to trust your instincts.Ascendant: Nothing like knowing when the game‘s a foot
Leo
If you were hoping for life to go back to normal come Monday, you should probably curse the sky or whomever you plan on cursing because of this new moon in Aries on Monday. That‘s not going to make life any easier, if anything it‘s like all these emotions that have been swirling within you are ready to come together for a new start, but these new moons aren‘t like epic new beginnings they‘re like mini revelations on the journey we call life. For you, it‘s going to mean more craziness, more letting the true you shine, more of the arguing with authority and trying to change the rules because why are we living by society‘s rules anyway? It‘s going to mean you feel this exuberant tidal wave of not letting anyone step on you or push you back in the box or tell you that you can‘t wear galaxy leggings at work. I mean they‘re amazing so you don‘t care if it‘s more appropriate to wear a pantsuit you‘re not going to adhere to these standards. Of course after a new moon you have to lie in the bed you created so you‘ll see the rest of the week being this challenge to upkeep the oddities you‘ve decided to let out of the box, and some days it‘s hard to brainstorm and hard to stay focused on those goals, you might find all of it waning by the end of the week, feeling like you‘d rather just go back to working on the things that make sense and matter, things that make money and don‘t put you in job jeopardy, instead of fighting tooth and nail for better policies that allow you to do things that may or may not make the company successful. I mean it‘s not like you looked that closely at the numbers in the first place. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and get ready to think outside of the box, and possibly outside of the building if you‘re not careful. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and you feel buyer‘s remorse, like you bought this crazy attitude, but can you really keep it? The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and you didn‘t crunch those numbers at all, you didn‘t think that idea through, it‘s not as good as you thought it was. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and as a result you will become a burrito.Ascendant: Sometimes the best thing you can do is crunch the numbers
Virgo
You‘re getting back in touch with that side of you that doesn‘t know anything about the world, because as it turns out, what you thought you know isn‘t actually applicable anymore, and you‘re super confused and you need someone to hold your hand through this because it feels like you just stepped into Kindergarten and even though you were the smartest kid in Preschool you don‘t know your ABCs or your 123s and you‘re moving onto shapes tomorrow and you‘re freaking out a little. Sure, it‘s back to the basics for you, it‘s back to the small things, and doing those simple tasks that honestly, you stopped doing and kept shoving to an assistant or an intern or someone other than you and so when it‘s finally your turn to figure out the magic of Google Docs, you‘re completely losing it because you never had to do that stuff by yourself, you always just barked at other people and it happened. Unfortunately, because you alienated those people and made them dislike you, none of those people are willing to help you out at this point, and you‘re going to have to do things all by yourself. Yeah, it‘s going to mean sharpening your pencils and going back to the drawing board and hoping beyond hope you remember the basics behind excel and word because you‘re going to need those skills to make it through the week. Fortunately, you have a few people who don‘t dislike you so much that they‘re not willing to give you a helping hand it‘s just those people are probably going to be patronizing and amused because you‘re asking them for help instead of pretending you know everything and getting frustrated by their stupid questions. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and it‘s funny how the tides have turned and now you‘re the one who doesn‘t know anything. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and you are learning so fast you feel you might set yourself on fire. The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and expect things to become methodical, but also expect deadlines to be crazy. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and you just want a nice bath.Ascendant: It‘s amazing what you really know when you‘re put on the spot huh?
Libra
That hopeless feeling is going to permeate until you can get a handle on yourself and decide that what you have is more important than what you desire, and that the universe very rarely gives anyone what they truly want, so why would the universe treat you any differently? The universe has this great tendency to give people what they need, not what they want, and once you figure out that what you want isn‘t actually as glamorous or even doable for you, then you‘ll realize that you are exactly where you need to be. Think about it, if you wanted to be a firefighter when you were five years old but you suffer from asthma, and you‘re afraid of heights, there‘s a good chance that being a firefighter isn‘t something you‘re cut out for. Of course, you might dream about it until the cows come home, but having an idealistic version of something in your mind is only going to glamorize something instead of giving you a realistic view of it. Sure, the realistic view comes with all that hopelessness and depression, but you know what works? Looking at the things you have, and thinking about the perks those things have to offer, the little comforts in life you enjoy because of the things you have. Maybe it‘s just a house close to work that lets you walk, maybe it‘s a car that‘s cheap on repairs, maybe it‘s a lover who doesn‘t cheat on you or drink too much. All those little things add up and you have to pick those little things out and see your life for what it is, we all struggle but things aren‘t actually that bad, and you have a lot of things working for you. Maybe it‘s time to take those bigger dreams, or things you thought when you were a decade younger and say this isn‘t the ideals you want to or need to live with anymore. There‘s always the opportunity to reinvent yourself and that‘s a beautiful thing. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and you‘re feeling so hopeless and out of sorts, you don‘t think life will ever be the way you want it to be. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and there‘s room to figure out what makes you passionate. The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and you‘re going to be giving in, not giving up, but seeing all the good you do have. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and there‘s some room to be emotional about it all.Ascendant: The universe doesn‘t give anyone what they want, it‘s not just you
Scorpio
Here comes the blame game, here comes the woe is me, here comes the part where you made the mistake but it‘s clearly everyone else‘s fault. Here comes the idea that you can‘t connect with anyone on any level because you‘re just so different from other people that nobody will like you. Here comes the epic hermiting that pushes away anyone who was actually like you, who actually liked you and who was willing to work with you to make you happier than you‘ve been in a long time. Here comes the pity party and the thunderstorms and the idea that nothing is ever good enough. You don‘t even know how you‘re going to turn things around at this point but you truly feel like you took a misstep somewhere and that it was the bad advice of someone else that was guiding you, or the rotten things other people did to you that forced those words out of your mouth, or so on and so forth. You can fight it all you want but until you take responsibility for the change you clearly wanted to make in your life, nobody is going to have any sympathy for you. We all make mistakes, the best thing we can do is apologize to ourselves, forgive ourselves, be better to the people around us, and fall back in line because it‘s easier to roll with the masses than it is to swim against the grain. You can only be the bearer of unpopular opinion for so long before that begins to take its toll on you. Instead of putting yourself in situations where you‘re the devil‘s advocate, go off and become part of things that you‘re actually passionate about. If you don‘t like crocheting stop joining crocheting clubs and complaining about crocheting! It's a fairly simple concept, I mean sure you might have thought crocheting was your calling in life, but only if you could turn that world of crocheting on its head and turn into the greatest thing on the planet, bring better awareness, make people care about the socio-political issues surrounding these crocheters. It‘s better if you step off, and move on. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and you can‘t help but blame others for your mistakes. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and you‘re so passionately stubborn about how wrong you were about things and how unhappy you are now. The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and your task here is to forget it and move on, be the butterfly that finds something else to be interested in. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday or just hermit for a bit and forget the world exists. Ascendant: I promise it‘s nobody‘s fault but your own
Sagittarius
When you don‘t need people and their opinions that‘s when you know you‘ve truly won. You won the gift of being able to listen to yourself, being able to do what‘s right for you, being able to see the world through your own eyes without fear of someone else telling you this is how it‘s supposed to look. You have this ability to decide what your life is going to be like, how you‘re going to turn bad situations into lemonade, or how you‘re going to cut up those lemons and add them to something alcoholic. You‘re going to find that people are either with you or they‘re not, and when they‘re not that‘s when you have to work extra hard because nothing will randomly get finished, you‘ll have to slave away at it even when you think you‘ll be able to sit back. I guess the point here is that when you take control over your life, it also means you have to do all the work in your life, it means that nobody is doing your laundry for you because nobody but you actually cares if you have clean underwear. That‘s the biggest bit of trouble you‘re having right now, being able to do all the things, take on the biggest work load you‘ve ever taken on, show up with ironed socks and a fantastic pant suit. Will you remember your talking points, your sales pitches, all the statistics you crammed into your brain that seem useless but are surprisingly helpful when people seem to insinuate you‘re not smart, and then oh look you know things that other people don‘t, which automatically makes you a more respectable member of society. Flaunt that knowledge and that ability to adapt to various situations because you‘re truly going to need to pull a rabbit out of your hat if you expect to make it through without the help of the people around you. This is like going on trapeze without a safety net and bungee jumping without a cord, which to be fair is really dangerous, but you‘re doing it anyway, no help, no fall backs, just you and your crazy dreams. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and you‘re taking control of your reality even if you don‘t know if you can handle it. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and you feel so passionate, and slow, so slow, you can‘t get things done as fast as others, not even if you try, how do these other people on eBay do it? The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and you‘re feeling overwhelmed, but inspired, stubborn, and need to go back to the drawing board. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and you need to recharge.Ascendant: You can‘t always expect others to help you out
Capricorn
You can‘t help but find yourself torn, on the one hand you want to go back to being a good person in general, not being angry at all the ignorant people out there, that‘s for them to do not for you to become like one of them. You used to take the high road, you used to respect yourself, and you used to not give in to all the hate that encompasses our world today. You might find that it‘s time for some introspection but you‘re also going to find that you have a need to share your opinion no matter what it is. So this is putting you in a weird position because with those hater people they feed on the hilarious memes and the hateful posts and if you post something positive, if you say well maybe we need to get this work done, maybe our boss isn‘t a bad person they‘re just in a difficult position, those supporters are going to go away and you‘re going to find that nobody wants to support you if you‘re not in this angry place, making memes of your boss with a bad moustache and some awful quote. Yeah I know we live in this society that entirely does that to people, they use the internet as their sounding board, as their polling station, as everything under the sun they can use it for, including cute kitties. I mean maybe if you spend a day cruising the internet for cute pet videos that might take your mind off the negativity going around and it might help you to awaken that compassionate side in you. The thing is, you don‘t need the haters, they just make you more bitter and angry on the inside, they actually make the situations that aren‘t that bad worse because they‘re making fun of them, they‘re taking things too far, and they‘re not seeing every side to the story. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and it‘s tempting to continue being on the hate boards of Reddit but maybe it‘s time to step away and find your soul again. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and you have passion, little trickles of it, but also morals and ethics and this need to be a good person coming back to you. The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and you‘re feeling the need to find more wholesome hobbies, like joining archery or something. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and you need to have a good cry about everything that hurts. Ascendant: The reason people are angry is usually because they‘re hurting about something
Aquarius
You‘re never one to rush a process, but when push comes to shove, you‘re going to do the sixteen-hour day thing and you‘re not even going to bat an eyelash at it because you‘ll be on far too many energy drinks to care. You know you messed something up, that there‘s some provision in the paperwork, some small detail that could turn into a big problem, some super silly thing that‘s going to turn your entire project into a giant failure if you don‘t nip it in the bud, change some things and save the entire thing. You hope it‘s not so awful you need to go back to the drawing board but the issue with things like this is that changing details last minute is unattractive on a sales level, and you‘re going to have investors, backers or people you‘re working with upset with you over this small detail. They‘re going to want to know why this wasn‘t mentioned before because for them this also changes the deal, so that whole idea that you‘re not heading back into the board room, back to the drawing board, back to the land of negotiating the millions of dollars this whole thing could make, is a little na?ve. You‘re definitely going there, you‘re definitely watching all your hard work take a huge stab to the gut as it goes to the land of revisions and you‘re definitely looking at a few more weeks of passing the project around the table, waiting while everyone marks some error in it and hands it back to you, expecting you to fix everything and come back. You‘re beginning to feel a bit like Anakin Skywalker when despite his training and his ability as a jedi, his age is what kept the council from appointing him. This is feeling a lot like everyone wants to criticize you but nobody wants to stand up and help you, and very soon this is going to end up feeling very bad in your case. We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and what you think is a small little hiccup in the project is going to turn into a conundrum. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and you‘re back to square one, entangling all the things that made sense before but don‘t seem to make sense now. The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and you‘re very upset that nobody is willing to help you, so upset you‘re probably going to tell them all to go away or to get off their butts. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and you‘re in the cave, all by yourself because that‘s how you operate best. Ascendant: How did one small thing turn into such a kerfuffle?
Pisces
You are quite possibly too much for your own good. You‘re too enthusiastic, you‘re too happy, you‘re too eager, you‘re too willing to impress, you want all the things to come your way or you want to get all the things done, and once you‘ve completed the few things on the list that needed to be finished for the day you‘re stuck staring at the clock for hours, waiting until you can go home and read books or play videos games, or otherwise distract yourself. You‘re truly over that other person or thing that had you blowing up emotionally, you put those emotions to bed, you‘re only full of positive emotions, you‘ll go out there with your camera and take a bunch of random pictures of the city just to entertain yourself, just to have something to mess around with on Photoshop for hours. You have this creative need, and all you need is the outlet. You‘ll probably be bored if you‘re not in constant motion so you can also expect to be opening the dating flood gates and seeing if there‘s anyone interesting around that might be looking for someone to spend time with. You like impressing people when the time is right, and while you‘re very particular about who you let into your life, new people come with this blank slate, they‘ve never done anything wrong, they‘ve never hurt you, so they have this clean record and they start with half of your trust which is all you can offer, and it can either build or it can lessen. That‘s truly up to them. You think it‘ll be a fun new challenge, and it might also be essential to cuddle with someone, you know, to help heal all those broken parts of yourself you‘re ignoring. You can only do so much to patch them up, who‘s going to sear those wounds shut? We have a New Moon in Aries on Monday and you‘re too eager you‘re going to make someone disgusted with your energy. The Moon moves to Taurus on Wednesday and you want all the work you can possibly get your hands on, the harder the better. The Moon Moves to Gemini on Friday as Mercury moves to Taurus and there you are, cruising for someone new to allow into your life, mostly because being alone only serves a purpose for so long. The Moon moves to Cancer on Sunday and you‘re bored so you‘re probably going to take a walk.Ascendant: Never seen this restless side to Pisces before . . .
Birthday horoscope

About Our Weekly Horoscopes