Blessings Cristina,
I have been blessed with a friendship that has lasted 35 years. We have supported each other through numerous life challenges. Recently, however we seem to be at a crossroads. I have been doing a lot of self-work. Over the last eight years and with the help of an amazing therapist, I have made life-altering progress. As these efforts are now propelling me forward into a new future, my friendship with this man is cracking. In his life, he has made choices that are now bringing him considerable pain. I see the pain all over him. The issue is that now his behavior and actions are emanating from his pain, and it is spilling over into our friendship. It feels as if my growth combined with his pain is rending the fabric of our friendship. Worst, he avoids taking responsibility for his behavior. I cherish our friendship, but not at the expense of my self-respect. Is there a way to preserve some semblance of this friendship while riding out this rough patch, or have we indeed come to our diverging paths?
Thank you for your insight.
--Angela
Blessings Angela,
And thank you for submitting your question. It's marvelous your friendship has lasted so long and weathered all the life challenges that have come your way. But as time passes we all change, in some form or other. Your change has been a spiritual awakening; a journey that has taken you into a new world and new chapter in your life. This life-changing progress has taken you to new frontiers when it comes to relationships. This is a natural progress when you take life-altering steps that are changing your life for the better. When this happens it is sometimes necessary to let go of past relationships which no longer serve you.
You have to come to the realization that you've moved on with your life, you are growing, evolving, and this man is still in the same position he was 10-12 years ago or beyond! You are past all that. Characteristics you never noticed about him, or ignored before are now coming to light. And this is not jiving with the wisdom and enlightenment you've accumulated and are still accumulating. Your growth and his pain don't match. His pain doesn't have any room in your spiritual development and it's something you simply cannot fix.
It's time to take a hard look at this friendship. When you do, you'll come to see he is not as true a friend anymore and that maybe he was never really a true friend. Let go of the people who hold you down. You deserve to fly, you deserve to be happy. Hanging on to the past or his friendship will only make you digress from what you've accomplished so far. So make the wise choice and let him go.
I hope this helped in some small way. Visit me for a detailed reading at
www.kasamba.com/ask-cristina
Much love and light,
Cristina
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