Dear Cristina,
I am 34 years old, taking care of my mom who has cancer and I have an older sister and a younger brother. I am the middle child, my sister doesn't work and is home all day and brother works part-time. They don't help me when it comes to taking my mom to appointments, follow-ups and chemo. We did have it rough growing up, but now that I am older I am doing what I have to do. Also, I have a 17-year-old child and have to pay rent and all the above. I love them both but I am so tired. Also, I am in a relationship with a 42-year-old man and for the past few weeks it's been arguments. She said, he said bull**. Just feel so disappointed and weak at this moment. Should I continue doing my duties in regards to my mom and don't say anything to my sister and brother?
Secondly I just came off from vacation four days ago and it's like drama, drama, should I stay in the relationship? I don't know what to do.
Kind regards,
B
Blessings and thank you for allowing me to answer your question.
Taking care of your mother in spite of her past mistakes shows your great capacity for forgiveness, compassion, and love. These elements of your character are strong and in the end will give you the blessed life you deserve. However, it is necessary to ask your siblings to help. Even if they haven’t forgiven your mother it’s not about her, it’s about you. If they love YOU, and care about you, which they do, they will help you. They need to take on at least a few responsibilities that come when assisting someone who is as sick as your mother. It’s interesting how I see they are more than willing to help a stranger, but they must choose to also help their own flesh and blood who gave them life. You just need to remind them they are helping YOU in this hour of need.
The situation with your boyfriend only adds to the pressure of working and taking care of your mother and child. He is not helping, he is bringing you down and this will not end, unless you choose to end it. If you love him, then ask him for some space and time. A separation between you for a short time, like a month or two, would most likely help. I feel control issues with him rather than loving tenderness and support. Let him go for a little while. If your love is strong enough you will survive this. But I feel troubled waters running deep, and that the relationship is doomed as it is. His love for you may not be the kind of love you seek. Change must happen and it has to start from you. Let him go for a while so you can BREATHE again and focus on tasks at hand.
My prayers are with you and your family. I wish Godspeed and know you will come out of all this blessed and with a better person as your partner, who loves you enough to raise you up and support your efforts.
Much love and light,
Cristina
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