Dear Cristina,
Over a decade ago I fell madly in love with a man -- like, love at first sight. It was like our skins were magnetized and we couldn't pull away. We had a passionate fling but he was already seeing someone and after a couple months we couldn't stand the guilt and called a halt. Life went on and I recovered but always thought fondly of him. For the past two years we were Facebook friends but kept it clean, no flirtation. We even saw each other a year ago and it was immediately like, "Oh my god you are so familiar to me," and I was still wildly attracted to him but neither of us said anything inappropriate. He's married with 4 small children, and I was married myself. Last spring I got divorced and right afterward he told me he had wanted to kiss me when we'd seen each other the last time. One thing led to another and suddenly, wham! We were involved. It was insane, immoral, and the most amazing thing that ever happened to me, but again it was all wrong and after several months of drama, tenderness, and chaos we managed to peel ourselves away. He needed to prioritize his family and I knew it was the right thing to do, that what we'd done had the potential to be terribly damaging. We haven't been in contact since, and I'm still heartbroken months later. It was much worse for us parting with each other the second time, as our connection had grown deeper than ever. Now, I'm not asking how to get him back. I know I shouldn't and it's never going to be right because of the circumstances. Yet I feel that he is, if not THE soul mate, at least A soul mate in my life. So, I'm wondering how I learn to accept that in this life we weren't meant to match up, and find happiness elsewhere. How can I heal? Thanks for your help.
--Marlene
Blessings Marlene, and thank you for your most eloquent letter and your clear question.
I can see through your letter that you have a good understanding of the spirit world and how we are all connected and perhaps why we have an irresistible draw to one person more than another. When you say you feel he is a soul mate you are correct. He is part of your soul group, meaning he is someone you've known in many lifetimes in several capacities. It is evident that in this lifetime, he is to challenge you to reach a higher level of self, a higher wisdom, and these spiritual growing pains can feel crippling sometimes.
If you seek within, you will see what you've learned about yourself and your relationships, and your life overall through this experience, and you'll come to realize what this lover's purpose was in your life. You should also know, or probably already do, that your ex-husband and any other relationships you've had are also part of your soul group and play a part on your spiritual journey in this lifetime.
Acceptance is an extraordinary thing, it's the first step towards healing. You've come to accept that you and he cannot be together. You loved him too much to allow him to sacrifice his family, and you both chose the right thing out of a greater love that surpasses any temporary moments of wild passion.
What was started in this lifetime will continue on to the next, so it's not like you'll never know him again -- you will, and you sense that already. It gives you some consolation but doesn't completely ease the pain of his loss. Not having that great excitement, romance, and love in your life is something to grieve about. But bit by bit you will heal by looking at the love you already have, rather than the love you've lost.
As time goes on you'll come to see more clearly the things you do appreciate about the people who care about you, your kids, and friends, family. You are beloved even though you may not feel it sometimes. Healing is rarely easy, it requires constant changes of the bandage. Start every day by thanking the universe for the love in your life today. If you look around you'll see it in the faces of the people who appreciate you. It will heal and help you move on.
If you wish a complete reading with me contact me via chat or phone at
https://www.kasamba.com/psychic/ask-cristina
Much love and light,
Cristina
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