You're off to a sluggish start this week after a weekend of pushing your limits. Nobody hates Monday more than you do, and you'd much rather sneak another long weekend into September than go to work. By mid week you're feeling like everyone around you is better than you and the jealousy monster takes over. By the end of the week you've cooled off a bit, but let's face it, you're watching Netflix on your breaks to avoid hitting someone in the face with a stapler. Coping mechanism for the win, but maybe lay off the red bulls and get some real sleep for a change. You don't need to be the life of the party or the work zone all the time!Ascendant: Relax and get it done

You're in angry research mode when the week begins, knowing that there's not enough time to do all the things you want to do and sometimes patience is not your middle name. You're frustrated about a project at work and you really want recognition and respect for what you're doing. Earlier in the week you're so productive you make computers look like monkeys. By the middle of the week you're getting funny looks from people, disheveled, rushing through work and making mistakes. By the end of the week and into the weekend you're definitely not shutting off work mode, but work mode is shutting you off, meaning your personal life is getting in the way of your productivity. Ascendant: Be nice and don't explode

Sexually you can't be happier, middle of the workweek and your personal life is still on fire with sexy texts and evening dates, and bow chicka bow wow. You and your partner have this connection this week that supersedes what's been going on in the world. You think you went to work because yes you left the house, but did you get any work done? Earlier in the week there's less of this fire because we're still in Virgo until Wednesday, but by mid week your focus is on pleasure. This is going to be the theme as you move into your weekend, and can become a bit of an addiction for you with the right partner. Ascendant: Turning up the heat

Sometimes it's same old, same old, and you're bogged down with how people can't change, improve themselves, or just stop making the same tired old mistakes. You're exhausted trying to ask the people around you to reform, from kids, partners, co-workers, family, etc. You do a lot of introspection in your life and you don't understand why others can't do that too. Earlier in the week you're hit your capacity for stupid and can't take anymore. By mid to end of the week you're feeling a tad more forgiving, but you've also hit that it's-so-stupid-it's-funny stage and bust out in giggles when people do stupid things. By the weekend you're mostly isolating yourself because if you don't have to see people you won't. Ascendant: It's so stupid it's funny

It's very hard to please everyone, so most of the time you do what pleases the largest group of people in your life. Of course you always balance what both pleases you and the people in your life but sometimes you can't always get that right. Earlier in the week you're doing the things that will bring you flack later in the week, so I guess you could think before you do anything. By end of the week you're getting flack from the people not pleased by the things you do, which is okay if it's people hiding behind the internet, but isn't good if it's your partner or your boss. I suppose be careful how and how much of this flack you want to acquire this week.Ascendant: Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

You always feel like you're the last one in line. Last to get the promotion, last to get the cake or cookies someone brought in, last to get picked for the baseball team, and the last person to get the recognition you deserve. You work harder than everyone else, but are barely noticed. Earlier in the week this is an issue because you have an angry streak that is rarely seen but when it is, is worse than more other signs. By mid week you've climbed down from your soap box of ranting and are a little more calm and cool, and by the weekend you're collecting yourself because it might be time for a new job or a new life. One thing is for sure, it's definitely time for change.Ascendant: Sometimes you don't see the catalyst coming

People notice you even when you don't want them to, even when you're eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches and getting it all over your hands, even when you trip a little and correct yourself, even when you post something somber on Facebook and suddenly everyone wants to know how you are. You don't remember taking poly juice potion to become Kim Kardashian but somehow the magnifying glass honed in on you. Earlier in the week things are subtle but weird, and by the end of the week you're increasingly aware that people are watching you. The ham and cheese guy at work is suddenly the peanut butter and banana guy and you're like what is this life!? You want to be you, and nobody else can do that quite like you can. Ascendant: They can try to be the best but they're just like the rest

Did you shut your brain off or something? You're not analyzing every moment of your life, not going through things with a fine tooth comb, not criticizing or ranting about the world. Are you sure you're not feeling sick? You feel very blah like this week doesn't exist, nothing is going on, and you're stuck plugging through life like everyone else. You are suddenly not the savior come to change the world, but just another average Joe. Maybe you think one person can't change the world? But this is you! This is what you do! If you don't complain about it the next thing you know there's polka dotted zebra print wall paper in the foyer and your bedroom is a striking shade of magenta! I realize your personal life might be taking some hits, and your work life is the same because people know what you're like, you give them a hard time if you can, but maybe everyone is getting a break this week, including you. Ascendant: Break time

There's what you can do, what you can't do and what you want to do in life. You're in the I have no idea what I want so I'm going to try to do everything and you're quickly discovering the differences between those three things. Sure, trying new things is great, trying all new things in one week was probably a recipe for disaster to begin with. And I know it's like New Year's resolutions except yours last until Weds and then you want to change again. You usually have a comfort zone, a way you like to work, things you like to eat, people you like spending time with. Don't change your preferences on a whim, and don't make any big decisions this week. Seriously, just have your usual mocha with chocolate whip cream at Starbucks and call it a day. I mean if you want to go all out try the caramel, but you probably won't like it. Ascendant: Try it, but you might not like it

You have something big in mind for this week, one of those epic, this-will-change-my-life-forever kind of things you want to accomplish. It's something that's been in the works for awhile, and for some of you could pertain to your personal life as well. You're all about achievements, so whether you're landing the big promotion, pushing your personal fitness limits to the next level or asking the person of your dreams to spend their life with you, this is big, Big, BIG! The great thing about this week is that the energy is build up energy so you likely don't want to push things earlier in the week but by Thursday, the energy is so strong you can really make the most of it. And you want that, hit the climax and spend the weekend living in the afterglow. It'll be perfect. Ascendant: Something big, too big to even talk about!

You don't want your mess to become someone else's mess and a lot of times when you tell people what they should or shouldn't be doing it's because you learn through trial and error. The things you tell other people not to do are more than likely things you've done that have fallen on the error side of life. While you don't want a week of reliving your errors, faults and mishaps, you're getting one. Earlier in the week it seems like it's pick on Aquarius day, where you can't do anything right. By Thursday you're repeating past mistakes even though you loathe doing this. You even know you're doing this but you have no choice. By the weekend you have some serious thinking and decisions to make and you hope you can handle the damage control. Ascendant: At least you clean up your own messes, right?

You would really like to travel this week, see new things, experience new places, even if it's just an afternoon of not hunkering down into work and being able to take your laptop to the park, you'd do it. It's great when life can offer you variety, something different, and something you can look forward to. Earlier in the week you're stir crazy and craving the outdoors or the ability to hop on a plane and be in Acapulco. By mid to end of the week you've solved some of those doldrums by taking walks, convincing your boss you can work from home, or calling in sick. It's not that you don't have goals, or aspirations in the professional world it's that sometimes you need to clear your head, and be somewhere else for a change. It doesn't help that this week your personal life is a bit messy, giving you a lot to think about. Ascendant: Too much to think about and not enough time for it