When you want something you don‘t want to spend years working for it, you want to start working towards it and reach it immediately. Forget the suspense, forget the journey, forget the setbacks and the hardships, one day you decide you want to be an astronaut and the next you want to be boarding that rocket to the moon. You find that you get bored too easily if things take too long, if there are delays or things are prolonged. You don‘t like being held back by finances, it makes you frustrated and grumpy. This week you‘re running before you‘ve learned to walk. You‘ve dedicated yourself to your job but you expect the rewards and perks of that brief inconsistent period of hard work to gain you the kind of recognition and benefits someone who‘s been doing it for ten years is getting. Your views are largely unrealistic. The Mercury Retrograde forces you to take a hard look at what you want to accomplish. The weekend doesn‘t offer much help because it seems you can‘t speed up the process to your success. All you‘re seeing are obstacles and not opportunities. Ascendant: Sometimes you have to build your own doors.

When the going gets tough, you often phone a friend. There‘s only so much pressure you can put on yourself before you need to let the stress out like a balloon. Sure, sometimes you prefer the sexual release, but lately you‘re not interested in lack luster, physical only type relationships that don‘t satisfy you on a deeper intellectual level. Work is stimulating your creativity, but it‘s also hitting a lot of your frustration triggers. Mercury alleviates some of that pressure, but you‘ll be feeling like there‘s this huge mountain to climb, and you know you created it yourself, but now you think you‘ve made a Frankenstein for yourself. What‘s even more ridiculous is that the people you work with or for will entirely expect you to eat everything you‘ve put on your plate, and if you can‘t they will make you sit there until you do. They are possibly sadists, but you might well be a masochist, giving yourself too much and not allowing yourself the freedom to enjoy life. That‘s why when you‘ve done all the work you can stand you‘ll be making every opportunity to hang out with friends on the weekend or midweek, whenever it‘s convenient for them. You‘ll be flexible about it this time.Ascendant: Good friends, good food and good fun.

Why do people seem to think your ability to go with the flow and adapt to every situation means you‘ve got your life all figured out? That couldn‘t be further from the truth but you are slowly noticing that you have groupies, one by one they seem to be following you, listening to you, copying the things you do. You‘re not sure why everyone is paying more attention to the things you write on Facebook these days but it‘s got you scratching your head. Last you checked you had just as much work to do as everyone else, just as much responsibility and things to take care of, and contrary to popular belief you don‘t think you adult very well on a regular basis let alone have any idea what you‘re doing. You‘re more going by the seat of your pants and hoping it all works out for the best. Midweek you‘re stalking the people who are stalking you, and by the weekend you might pull out a confrontation card or two and ask people why they care so much about how you‘re living your life. It‘s really not superior to the way others are living theirs. Ascendant: Better than other people? Hell no.

You‘re feeling vulnerable this week, knowing that you can‘t hide how you really feel from people because you can‘t communicate eloquently even if you try and you‘re bound to put your foot in your mouth a few thousand times before Tuesday. And Mercury is no good for you. It helps you to shut your mouth and listen and observe people, but it doesn‘t help when people require you to share your opinion. You stumble over yourself like a new born baby goat, and hop around in an attempt to be politically correct and fall on your face. Needless to say this isn‘t your week and if there was some chance you could run away to the Bahamas, have some umbrella drinks on a beach and work on your tan I‘d say pick that option. It won‘t come with less embarrassing moments, but embarrassing yourself around sexy people you‘ll never see again is far better than trying to live down that time you farted at the worst moment. Take it all in stride and be thankful that the weekend doesn‘t require you to do much other than relax, take a bubble bath and sleep. It‘ll be better on the other side. Ascendant: Remove yourself from the awkward situation, if possible.

You‘ve hit the bleak, depressing side of January that always has you feeling nostalgic, sentimental and stagnant. You want to keep working but it‘s hard when you feel like you‘re working in a game of Snakes & Ladders. One moment you move forward and the next you hit a snake and fall back to square one. You watch others climb up ladders like pros and mechanically you find the process easy, but putting it into action isn‘t the same thing. Part of it has to do with your lack of motivation, there‘s a side to you that wants to observe, analyze and treat work like an elaborate game of Chess instead of a kid‘s game with snappy decisions that can go good or bad depending on luck and possibly the market and industry you are in. It might be best to stop making any decisions until you can assess the situation properly and come up with solutions that will garnish the highest level of success. You may not have been a chess champion, but you can look at the facts around you and come up with solutions that will at least lead you or your company closer to your goals. If anything it‘s worth a shot.Ascendant: Life‘s a game of chess, are you the king or queen?

It stands to reason that even when you don‘t ask for the most random things to go wrong, that‘s exactly what happens to you. It hits for no rhyme or reason either, it‘s like the universe is mocking you, saying nah, this was too easy, your work week was going to be a breeze, let‘s just explode a pipe in your apartment and drench all your stuff in water an hour before you‘re supposed to leave. That‘s great. And it‘s not like you don‘t maintenance and take care of your things, but you can‘t predict things like power surges or seventeen car pile ups because of a little bit of snow and ice. Once your heart rate spikes, you call all the people you need to about the emergency, you still want to work. It‘s the only thing that will calm you down enough to not hit someone. It‘s never your incompetence but other people‘s that seems to affect you the most. And sure, we could talk about how often you‘re moving and thinking too fast and instead of taking your time you rush, and end up wearing the title accident prone, but let‘s not. Your week is bad enough without knowing this is a common pattern and one you do everything you can to avoid. The rest of the week is a bit shaky, getting back to normal, dealing with the fallout, possibly playing some Fallout 4, and putting your life back together once again. Ascendant: Never fails, it always hits you.

Trying new things is one of your specialties, and with work being that usual 9-5 thing you do to pay bills, but aren‘t really sure if it‘s what defines you or your life, you‘re willing to take off afterwards for an evening class or two. Maybe you‘re trying out Yoga, Tai Chi, or a pottery class. Maybe it‘s kick boxing or martial arts. Either way, Mercury gives you a dose of eagerness to learn, allowing you to have the courage to walk into that dance studio and leave it all on the floor, whether you win, lose or draw. You know you might embarrass yourself, but nobody cares, most people are happy they didn‘t wipe out. You have the elegance and grace to do something really stupid and come back from it stronger than ever. So go out, make mistakes, try new things, and spend your week giving yourself all kinds of pats on the back for being so brave. By the weekend you‘ll be delving further into your interests, possibly catching up on all those books you wanted to read or cooking your way through a recipe catalogue. How you choose to spend your time it will be well worth it, even if most of the things you want to do, you don‘t care one way or another if someone does these things with you. You like the idea of flying solo for a bit, and doing things just for you.Ascendant: Trying new things helps you find who you are.

You can‘t help it, the wire has been tripped this year and if you thought you‘d be able to rein in that Scorpio sting, you were very wrong. You‘re going to be dishing it out like it‘s hotcakes and you‘re not going to care much if people think you‘re crude, rude, opinionated, wrong, or just plain mean. You don‘t care because you‘re sick of not saying what‘s really on your mind and letting people make mistakes, and not speaking up for yourself. Your anger is very passion drive and intense, but for a lot of you, it‘s burning bridges, it‘s burning down the whole world, and it‘s going to come with some major consequences. Mercury is fanning the flames, the Capricorn energy was dying off and then Aquarius revitalized it, making you believe that nobody will ever learn their lessons and that you should open up a factory making things like dunce caps and buttons that say, "I‘m sorry, I‘m stupid." The only saving grace is that not everyone in the world is on your bad side, only 90% of the people you know. And once you‘ve exhausted yourself by sharing that much of yourself with the world you retreat to your safe place, where you only have a handful of people to care about who actually do care about you, even when you resemble a fire breathing velociraptor. Take a lot of deep breaths, you‘re going to need them. Ascendant: You need to decide, are you a fire breathing dragon or are you all ice?

Once upon a time a boy named Oliver wanted some more. You are not sure if you want more, but you like the idea of more, the actual having it, taking care of it, and maintaining it, is another story altogether. You‘re very much like those people who think a puppy is a great gift but you never prepare yourself for the actual hardships of having a puppy. Similarly, you feel like you deserve to make more money, and get a promotion, because you work hard and you could handle a little more, not a lot, but a little, and you feel like you‘re getting the short end of the stick. The problem however, is that you‘ve got two options, stay where you are where you‘re comfortable, or be thrust into the next level that you‘re not quite ready for. Sure, you‘re doing a great job at not letting people walk all over you, but that doesn‘t mean you need to become an overachiever. You‘re good being who you are, and accepting your place in the world, doing the things you‘re good at, focusing on your personal wellbeing instead of becoming a workaholic. If you really do want to improve, consider all the options and consequences, make yourself a pros and cons list before taking the leap of faith. Ascendant: Think it through, think it through.

Actually taking a break from life? That doesn‘t seem like you Capricorn, but did you finally learn the value in not working yourself to death? Work is simply that thing that pays for the fun things you want to do in life. I‘m glad you‘re taking time out of your busy schedule to do the fun things. Of course, we should probably talk about your type of fun, because let‘s face it, you need to have a good adventure to make it worth it. You need to come back to work revitalized with experiences and stories you can use to get you through the doldrums of being at the usual grind. Some of you will see that working dead end jobs is not where it‘s at, and you may assess the risk in starting your own endeavors. Others of you will know that there‘s no way you can make a business of your own work in the current economic climate and you have no interest in going into debt to make something work. Some of you will simply want a change of pace on the job front, which often means working for a different company, or getting a promotion or transfer to another department. On the extreme side of things, some of you will decide that where you‘re living now isn‘t where you need to and want to be, and you might try to live somewhere that combines work with your passions in life. That being said, I‘d love to work in Hawaii too.Ascendant: Sometimes the changes you need to make have nothing to do with success.

You can‘t help people who don‘t want to be helped. You can‘t hold their hands and lead them to water and if you try forcing water down their throats, that‘s actually considered illegal. I think they call it waterboarding. So you can‘t water board people in order to help them do the things they should do in their life. You can‘t lead by example these days because your own life is such a mess you really don‘t want people following what you do. That‘s no solution to anybody‘s problems. The only thing you can do is go back to teaching the old fashioned way, lecturing. You know it‘s an exhausting process, but because you‘re not living the example you want others to follow it‘s one of only a couple of alternatives. The second is to fix what‘s wrong with your life and start being the example you want people to follow. That might start with you being more consistent with your work, dedicating yourself to projects and completing them instead of starting five different things and then deciding later which ones are actually worth your time. Knowing what‘s worth it from the beginning is better for everyone. Towards the weekend you‘re feeling like putting your life inside a google calendar is about the equivalent to jumping off a cliff, you can‘t prioritize or organize every moment of your life, you will try, but schedules aren‘t your thing.Ascendant: Complaining about your life but not doing what‘s necessary to fix it.

It‘s all fun and games until your crazy brain decides to become the Fantasia of ideas, pouring out more varied, zany and wild ideas than ever before. You‘ve got plans for travel, plans for inventions, plans for world peace, if anyone would listen to you, there‘s an idea about how you can use solar power to keep every light on around the world for an entire month that would cost only pennies to make and maintain. You‘ve got deep, philosophical thoughts about aliens and life on other planets, you‘ve got baking ideas, and gift plans, and you‘re already thinking about the holidays next year. The sheer sensory overload is making it absolutely impossible for you to focus on your work tasks, mostly because those are boring, typical and come with easy answers. You could do your job in your sleep and most of the time that‘s why you chose the job so if you had to sleep on the job it wouldn‘t matter, but still. You need to weed through and stop the flood of ideas cramming itself into your cranium. Mercury only amplifies your need to learn and explore more. You have a need for books, movies and television shows, when you‘re not working you‘re either reading or binge watching, sleep is for the weak and also you don‘t want to be crammed back into your fantasy land you just want to make the world a better place. You don‘t know when this roller coaster ends, but you‘re determined to ride it out until it comes to a screeching halt. Ascendant: Too many thoughts, not enough time.