Twinflame or Narcissist? How can you tell?

Have you ever experienced that feeling of perfect love, of oneness, of supreme confidence in your connection only to find out later that it was all a beautiful lie? I have. I wish it only happened to me once. I’ll share with you some of my own personal experiences and what I’ve learned so you don’t have to go through it too.

When we first met, it was love at first sight. I nearly fell backwards, I literally lost my sense of balance. Looking back now? As an empath I am easily affected by people's energies. It didn’t mean that I was being led to the love of my life. But man, it sure felt that way! I should have known better.

We progressively got closer, getting to know one another over the course of weeks and months. She became someone I could not live without. Secret encounters, romantic getaways, a lot of love. I mean, the love bombing was real. If you don’t know what that means, it essentially means that someone showers you with love, so much so, that blinds you, disconnects you from your rational mind, to the point that you are manipulated into feeling like you are safe, in love, experiencing true romance and have found the one. Sex is a great weapon too. Man or woman, you will experience the best sex of your life. Period. So, it’s hard to know whether they are love bombing you, or they are your twin flame.



They will project everything that you want, need and hope for, They WILL figure it out. They are experts at detecting your weakness. And if they can’t find one, they will simply ask you! That’s right. They will ask you to share your deepest, darkest secrets and fears. Sometimes, they will share their own first in order to make you feel obligated. The trouble is that nothing that they will tell you is true. Not a bit of it. They will use the truth as a tool that they bend to their will in order to sound and seem more convincing. If you have good lie detectors, they will bypass them. They use the truth but bend it to their needs.

For instance, That childhood story about how they were abused as children at their uncle's house for years when they were babysat there and that's why they have trust issues? Part of that is true. They were babysat there. There was abuse but it wasn’t to them or towards them. They heard about it or witnessed and used the victim role effectively because they saw how it gave the person that was impacted some sympathy. They need that sympathy to bypass your defenses and those that they target.

They watched that person talk about it so much that they can now mimic their words, mannerisms and even the tears on cue.

Anyone who has been in a close relationship with a Narcissist knows exactly what I’m talking about. They are nodding their heads and saying, uh huh, they can lie alright, that’s just what they do.

She ended up being the most difficult, challenging and horrendous experience of my life. I lost my heart, my home, my friends and family when it was all said and done. I almost lost my mind. It took me years to recover from it.

Thank God for His love, for the support of my family and a really great therapist who understood what I was going through and kept reminding me that I was deserving of so much more!

I had no clue that this was where I was headed for. No indications, no signs, nothing. It’s so very hard if not impossible to see.

Coming out of that, I realized that I had a real vacuum in self love. I yearned for love so very much that made me an easy target. I wanted to give what I wanted in return. I gave all of myself only to have nothing left to give.



Here are some of the red flags that you want to watch out for when considering someone as THE ONE.

1. They are perfect.
   Let’s be honest. No one is perfect. Everyone has faults. If that person that you are falling for is projecting everything that you want and hope for, take a step back and wait. They might be a narcissist.
2. They mirror you. If that person is in total agreement with EVERYTHING that you say and do and don’t see a problem with anything that you feel, any of your opinions, they are very quick to blame everyone who ever wronged you and don’t have anything but praise for you? Take a step back. They might be a narcissist.
3. If that person loves you, to the point that you can’t think straight, if you begin to forget your friends, prioritize them over say, your family, commitments, work, and see them as the most important in your life? The only thing that you should be focused on? Take a step back.They might be a narcissist.
4. If that person radiates being the victim, if they have never been fault for their plot in life, they everyone took advantage of them, if they act like they have never done a thing to deserve where they are, and life is just unfair to them, that they are good, without real faults and have never done wrong? Take a step back. They might be a narcissist.
5. If it seems too good to be true! Take a step back. They might be a narcissist.

Don’t rush into this. You have time. If this is meant to be forever, then it can wait a month or more before you commit to giving your heart to them. Don’t feel like you need to make a rush decision. You have time. Prove their love to you. Ask them to talk about their ex’s. If their ex’s were all abusers, took advantage of them, hurt them and they had no part to play in the relationship going sour? That’s a red flag.

If they spend a lot of time charming you, telling you how wonderful you are, how they can’t live without you, how you're the one? Take a step back. Don’t rush into anything.

So, can a narcissist be mistaken for a twin flame? Protect yourself by looking out for these signs. A narcissist will do their very best to gain your trust and rely on them for advice and counsel. They want you to surrender your good judgment for their own. They won’t tell you that your judgment is bad or wrong. They will insinuate that theirs is better. That you should trust them and rely on them for advice, for counsel and that maybe your friends aren’t the best people to ask for help. You have them don’t you?

They will make you feel like you are the best thing that ever happened to them. That without you, their lives are not whole. That without you, they would be lost. Not only is that unhealthy, it's a recipe for disaster emotionally. It’s healthy to have hobbies, friends and family that you rely on and keep close.

The worst part is that you may not know before it’s too. They tend to hide their true faces until you are isolated, alone and have no one to talk to or can trust. They are masters of manipulation and they take great joy in knowing that you can’t leave them. Where would you go? Who will take you now? I was told those very words, verbatim.

You can NEVER love a narcissist enough. They are endlessly in need of supply. Love, affection and your time! There is no way of healing what is broken in them.

You will not be the one to do it. You won’t come up with a method of bringing them to God or making them aware of their faults. They will apologize and make amends if they have no choice. They don’t mean it. It’s all a tactic to keep you where you are. You are a supply for their needs for affection, time and love. You are their prisoner.



If you’re wondering what kinds of partners narcissists choose, ask yourself these questions; are you an Empath? Have you been told that you are one? Are you very sensitive, easily hurt and can feel the emotions of others? Were you raised by one or more narcissistic parents? Are you a bit of a people pleaser? Have you been told that you can be idealistic? Then you are a prime steak dinner for them. They can’t get enough of you. Your ability to shift into high gear when needed is exactly what they want and need to keep going.

None of their emotions are real. Unlike you, who feels extreme pain, suffers from rejection and wants to do what is right. They don’t. It’s all about them. PERIOD. After all, this person isn’t your twin flame, it is narcissistic abuse.

Here is the kicker my friends. IF you are wondering if your partner is a narcissist, I can just about guarantee you that they are. No one asks themselves that question lightly. And no one spends any time considering the consequences of such a thing unless they have good reason to do so. No one asks themselves if their partner is a narcissist, starts doing the research and sees the signs and it’s all in their imagination. It never is. A twin flame won’t destroy your life, but a narcissist can.

If you’re there, it’s a good time to get support, start the process of opening your eyes and begin to disconnect, bit by bit and face the reality that you are in. Each and every day that you remain is a day that they will use to try and control you, make you confused about your own thoughts, make you question reality and have you wondering if you’re at fault. Because in the end, it’s always YOUR fault according to them. One way or another, they blame you. They will make you doubt yourself.

It’s time to put yourself first and love yourself out of the darkness that you are in. it’s that or lose yourself to someone who will never love you as you were meant to be loved. To remain is simply to enable more suffering and pain. That’s not what you deserve.

What you deserve is to be loved, adored, respected and supported. Life is hard enough. It should not be spent in any kind of abuse. Be it physical or emotional. You deserve so much more than that. So much more!

The dream that you had about the love of your life is real. It’s not this. This is not what is meant for you. You may have had to endure and experience some hell but at the other end of this journey is true love, true understanding of a renewed self of self love that no one and nothing can take it away from you.

How do you know if the person you are with is your twin flame?

Your future partner will want to support you, not control you. Your true partner will be okay with your friends and family. They will not try to diminish them. They will be okay if you have your own time to yourself and won’t impose guilt trips to spend every waking hour with them!

Your true partner will go out of their way to make you happy and will work things out with you. You will fight. You should! You might even break up with each other! Only to work things out again and come to term with each other's faults and realize that you both have work to do. They won’t blame you for everything or take blame for everything either.

A true partner will give you the freedom to be who and what you are. They won’t try to mold you or make you someone that you aren’t.

A true partner will love you, faults and all. And will identify with them and will do their best to work through them with you.

A true partner will see you as you are. Not as they want you to be. They will connect with you on a deeper level than anyone else ever has.

A true Twinflame/Soulmate will share in your pain, in your suffering and will do whatever it takes to make it right. They will know what and how you feel, because they have been there too.

Don’t settle. Fight for what you want and you will have it. That day will come. If it takes a year or 20 to find them, all that matters is the rest of your lives together. Co-creating love for the world to see. This is my promise to you. Never, ever give up on yourself and in that promise in your heart. All will be well!