How to break up with someone you love and let it go

Imagine sitting on your couch holding a rose “he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not”. This method is a tale as old as time for deciding how and if we should move on. We wish it were that easy! Deciding to break up with someone you love, for better or for worse, is one of the most difficult challenges we face. There are a billion reasons why people may break up.

There are breakups where the other did something wrong and didn’t treat their partner as they deserved, and then there are breakups where you love each other and treat each other well, yet you STILL feel the calling to breakup and go separate ways. Which one is harder? We’ll never know. Breakups are equally as painful whether you are the break-up-er or the victim of another’s decision to change the fate of your path.So, how do you break up with someone you love?

First things first. INTENTION. Keep reminding yourself of the intention and love energy you carry behind this breakup. You love them, that is why you are choosing to break up with them. Every head the saying “if you love someone, set them free, if they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t, they were never yours”. Powerful, right? The intention of breaking up with someone you love, from love, is extremely powerful. This intention most likely will get lost throughout the breakup, as the ego tends to get involved, rejection, powerplay, all those messy feelings.



Reminding yourself that your intention came from love, can alleviate the manipulative guilting your unaccepting partner may attempt to harp on. You ask yourself, if I love them, and am choosing to do this from a place of love, then why don’t I want to be with them?” There are many forms of love, and individuals come in our life to show us that. Maybe you love them, and that is true, but the question of if you want to spend your life day in and day out with this person is a question you’ve surely pondered that got you to this point of needing to part ways.

Unfortunately for all the hopeless romantics out there, love is not enough. A wise woman once said, “put two people in a room long enough and they’ll love each other”. Love is human nature! We have the ability to love beyond you’re awareness, does that equate to being in a relationship with someone - short answer - NO.



As you remember your intention of coming from a place of love, compassion, understanding, and patience for the receiver of this shocking news is most likely going to fall on your shoulders. You may be equally or more sad than the receiver of the breakup, it is sad for both parties, and both parties have a right to process and react as they see fit. It is often the breakup-ee who takes the hit for doing something wrong, only for a few months down the line for their ex-partner to thank them because they realized that it wasn’t working. It is BRAVE and courageous to break up with someone you love. You love them, why would you want to hurt them, hurt you, and now endure a life transition voluntarily.

Whether you are on the side of breaking up with someone or love, or you are being broken up with, the million dollar question is HOW. How to get over someone you love? How to let go of someone you love? There is no equation to how to deal with breakups. Let’s be honest, universally speaking, breakups and heartbreak is one of the scariest, deepest, and painful cuts our heart feels. We are grieving. A person that was once so involved in our day to day life, no matter the quality of the relationship, that person made their way into your heart. And now you just have to push them out? I know, it feels so unnatural to have to push and force a lovely feeling out. Then there is the stage of cutting communication. Similar to withdrawal of an addiction. A change is daily habit that we have no control over.



So, the answer to how to get over someone you love and how to let go of someone you love? TIME. It's the most frustrating, long and painful answer, but it is the prime truth. Time will always do its thing, whether we want it to or not. Whether we fight tooth and nail against our fate and destiny, time will always reveal the truth. Yes, every second and minute may feel long, hard, and heartbreaking, but eventually, time leads to all acceptance.

At some point, you will realize that you have managed day to day life in a different way than you once were. This ex of yours feels more distant. You have some glimpses of joy, which leads to some glimpses of hope, which leads to some glimpses of happiness and love once again.